I just don't know what to do anymore.  I try to be nice to people but I always come off as rude or depressing.  I have no idea how that happens, but I try so fucking hard and people just run away from me.  They think I'm boring and un-exciting.  I'm just glad it's the summer so I can relax and take a break from being someone else all the time.  I wished Grace a happy birthday today, and I told her that I wanted to get to know her better this next year, seeing that we'll probably being going to Northland together.  But she didn't say anything back.  She always comes off as a person who thinks she's better than everyone else, like she doesn't need to respond to my texts or doesn't need to call me to let me know she can't make it to the garden because it's raining!  That's frustrating!  On the last day of 11th grade I tried so hard to try to be pleasing to her and Olivia, Sadaf, and Audrey, but she kept standing in front of me in the circle while we were talking.  I would try to move so that I would be in view of Olivia, but then Grace would just move in my way again.  I don't know if she was just completely oblivious or if she was being rude, but something's going on with this girl and I need it to stop.  I need to tell her how I feel, regardless of whether or not I scare her off with my over-flow of emotion.  This has really been bothering me, for quite some time, and she needs to know about it.  Whether or not she cares or if she wants to know.  And Olivia, forget her!  She doesn't give a shit about me.  Even if she did, she wouldn't be brave enough to stand up for me.  She has no courage, and that's fatal.

"We must forgive, but never forget."