I've decided to fuck it all.  I talked with my best friend Naomi, and I told her about everything.  All the bullshit I've put up with over the years and how I'm trying to fix it all.  She told me to fuck it.  Fuck it all.  I have friends who actually care about me and love me, why should I try so hard to be friends with people who clearly don't care about me.  I don't want to tell them anything they don't need to know.  If they want to get to know me, it's their turn, not mine.